Monday, July 18, 2011

Five Albums That Shape a Life

List Time! Woot! Eleventy! I am sorry that this blog has been dormant for so long, unfortunately certain states have certain codes of conduct. Plus I have been really, really, really, busy with work. The site will be back and running at full capacity as of now. There will be other contributors. Sit back and wait for the brainsplosion......

Ok, Ok, Ok, we all have those albums that shaped who we are now. Those albums that just bring back memories or those that finally made us realize what music was all about. This is not a list of singles; rather it is the whole albums (remember we used to buy those at real record stores) that we put in our discman and jammed out. We blasted these albums at various house parties, played them before HS Athletics and overall used them to hype ourselves up to handle the challenges that being awesome brings with it.

5. Public Enemy: It Takes A Nation of Millions

Anyone fucking with this was a bad-ass. I remember hearing this in the Saneholtz' basement and losing my mind! Fuck the Police! Fuck the System! These are what a 12 year-old needs in his life! Big shot out to Sharky Mark on this one. Sublimanly this album has been the number one driving social album for me. It has led me to decisions both good and bad. At twelve it might be hard to digest, but as age comes these songs have always been in my head. Key tracks include Black Steel in The Hour Of Chaos (a song about about a black man being drafted by the miliary), and Cold Lampin w Flavor an overall free for all.

4. Dr. Dre : The Chronic

"With my Nuts on Your Tounsils" became a form of expression. "lil Ghetto Boy"was a hard ass track. Can't forget "Deez Nuts" ." Nate Dogg delivers big time : "I.......Cant be Faded, I'm Nigga From the Mother Fuckin Streets." Really? Who comes up with this shit? Dr. Dre does and he puts it over George Clinton funk. Genuis.

3. Rage Against the Machine: Rage Against the Machine

I can't even begin to express the emotion that this album brings. "Fuck you I wont Do what you what you Tell me" doesnt even scratch the surface. This album is by the far the dopest rock album out. Period.

Albums #2 and #1 will be released this Thursday.....

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

BREAKING: Sweater Vests Now "Hip"

That is, according to the Toledo Blade :
It's OK to put one on, even if you're not a stodgy fashion conservative. In fact, sweater vests are actually kind of hip these days.

The Blade writer also goes on to give tips for selecting the perfect vest. In honor of Michigan Hate Week I demand that every god-fairing Buckeye fan head this writer's tips and pick up a sweatervest. I am going with the tight-fitting euro style.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

My Co-Worker the Dick

What you are about to read is a true story.

The other day I was talking about getting some canned goods together to take to the local food pantry. Times are tough around here and the food pantries have not been able to meet thier demand. An idiot co-worker of mine asked me what I was gonna give. I said, "I dunno, some generic canned goods." He called me lame.

When I asked him why I was lame he said that he hates generic spaghetti O's that HE gets from the food pantry. I was flabbergasted. This dick has a good paying job and he has been going to the food pantry to get food. Asshole. Why he is bitching about generic spaghetti-o's, when he should buy his own, I have no idea.

I nominate this dude for Dick of the Year.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Cedric Ceballos > Dana Barros and Malik Sealy

A little food for thought on a freaky friday. I used to own the album "B-Ball's Best Kept Secret." Tight shit right here. It is safe to say that Ceballos owns not only Barros and Sealy, but also Mills and Gary Payton. J.R "the popcan dope smoker" also makes an appearance.

Flow on.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

OUTRAGE: Will Smith to "remake" Karate Kid

Will Smith is set to produce a remake of the classic "Karate Kid." To make matters worse, it was unveiled yesterday that his son will play Daniel Larusso. This is a travesty.

Will Smith is officially as annoying as J-LO. What's next, a remake of Lost Boys starring his son as Michael? His son playing in a remake of Lucas?

Karate Kid is my second favorite movie of all-time, why he feels the need to muck it up I have no idea. How will the scenes look? Will Johnny roll a doobie in the bathroom? The dance scene will likely resemble something from High School Musical. Who is gonna play Miagi? Lastly, Will Smith will likely cast himself as Sensei of Cobra-Cai.

Harrassing phone calls to Will Smith's office were not immediately returned.

(ED. It appears that the movie will be shot in Beijing, not Jersey and California. Nice fucking remake, gaypants)

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Race, Rap and the Race

O.K, I know, this is a politics post. There probably won't be many on this site, but since Obama won the White House this week I have been thinking about a Young Jeezy song and it's relevancy (if any) to political discourse in this country.

Young Jeezy released a song this summer entitled "My President is Black." It is a great song, probably in the top 3 on his album, "The Recession." The song shifts aimlessly from a strong desire for change ("Be All You Can Be, Don't That Sound Like Some Dumb Shit? Dying for Crude Oil as Black as My N@##! Boo") and his situation as a black man to selling drugs. "My President is Black" is the typical contradictory rap song, but it's positive message far outweighs it's gangsta sentiment. It must be noted that artists such as Jay-Z and Luda have expressed similiar support for Obama. (The Luda is worth a listen, some of his lyrics sound like commenters on blogs).

The question I have been pondering is: are rap songs such as this, from black men with sometimes violent lyrics, the reason that so much fear was expressed from the uneducated white people who have made illogical, racist statements since Obama's victory? Can it be that rap was responsible for the rumors of a race riot should McCain steal the election? Personally I believe that the people churning out such vile, either on Facebook, the Radio, or even just your boss, have deep seeded fear of any sort of change, that they live in a fantasy world. That's just my opinion. As the Sensei from Karate Kid would say, "You gotta problem with that?"

"My President" is a schizophrenic message that resembles the needs of America and why we elected Obama. We know we have all have different reasons for voting the way we did. Some reasons might contradict others. The bottom line is that we all wanted something different.
Jeezy relays struggles that we have: "Woke up this morning, headache this big, pay all these damn bills, feed all these damn kids." We voted Obama because, well, why not? This past tuesday we saw traditional America shocked by a coalition of young voters, black voters, first time voters, and most importantly, fed-up old people (they dont do computers, so I didn't offend them). Why? How much worse could things get in this country?

On a side note, does anyone think Young Jeezy could articulate one Obama position? I hope he doesn't come after me after he finds out that I am getting a tax break and he has to pay more. But anyone with a Blue Lambo probably doesn't care.

Name That National Landmark

I now have officially too much time on my hands. The goals of this blog are simple: entertain and provoke some thought, but mainly to mock people.
My brother has offered to help, so you might get a random post from Las Vegas. We have some funny stuff in the works.
Now, can you name this national landmark? Winners get a virtual ham sandwich.